Interviewsby The Paradice City Mirage

How old is the city?

Founded in the early 1900s by a group of tin prospectors, it was primarily a mining community for the workers to live near the mines. Throughout the 20s & 30s was a boom period, more people flocking to find their fortune, hoping there was more than tin, which there wasn’t.

The 50s saw a slump as the mines ran dry and the city, built on tin, found a lot of people unemployed. People with any money left the city for somewhere with prospects.

Cue the Mob…

What did the Mob do?

They bought up cheap land and began a feverish construction of clubs, casinos and hotels. This began a tourist boom from the 60s to the 70s. Paradice was the place to be swinging, snorting and smoking. The city’s first casino, The Treasure Tin, was a glamorous Roman affair. Lots of gold and marble. Statues of people no one recognised. Hostesses in short skirts, chubby pit bosses in ill-fitting suits, the occasional threat to a dealer quickly ‘defused’ by security. It had it all, big wins, small wins, big losses… I once saw a guy gamble his wife’s diamond ring on a game of Blackjack. She couldn’t get it off her finger so she placed her hand on the table. I’m sure if he’d have lost they would’ve taken her finger with the ring. Great times.

So, the 60s and 70s were a great time in Paradice?

You’re erect and correct! That’s a little city saying from the construction times.

Whilst more casinos and hotels were being built, legit businesses began to move here too. It was a real classy time to live here. Shops like Glammo, the city’s first fashion boutique, and Blammo, a gun store with lax licensing, made the city more than just a gambling destination. We had a park, a two-lane highway, even a reservoir!

So what happened?

We could see the writing was on the wall when the feds introduced the R.I.C.O. act. The Mob was being slowly dismantled and so was Paradice. Places began to shut and this had a big effect on the tourism industry and the city as a whole. People were again unemployed, but we knew we could bounce back. Hey, we’d done it before.

Has the city bounced back?

In a word, yes and no. The city is a bit rundown and needs bringing into the 80s, but we do have a new industry: pagers. They’re a form of digital communication. You can send a message to anyone from your telephone and they’ll see it. The city has invested heavily to help bring the company to Paradice and sees it as the future. We’re all in, as they say at the poker! But we also still have a lot of casinos.

Do you gamble?

Personally I don’t gamble, I’m a historian. The history of this great city is enough excitement for me.

But if that’s your thing, then Paradice is fine for that. Just remember to visit some of our historical sites while you’re here. Have I mentioned the Nuclear testing site?

Or even better, you could move here. It’s nearly free. Move to Paradice.

Can we address the reports that link you with the Mob?

No comment.

OK, how did you get into the gambling business?

Are you a cop?

No, I’m a journalist from The Paradice Mirage newspaper.

Don’t ask me no cop questions…

I’ll try not to… So, do you live in the city?

OK, that’s it. I’m done with this…

Clem declined a follow-up. His tables did not. Play blackjack at The Lucky Saddle.

It’s 8pm somewhere; it’s time for HardLine. This week’s interview is with L’Roy Davis, owner of The Jetski Palace & Trainee Administrator at the Paradice City Tourist Board.

Chip: Good morning L’Roy. Before we move onto your fascination with water skiing…

L'Roy: It’s jet skiing, Chip. Water skiing is the number one killer in the world.

Chip: That’s simply not true. Anyway, I want to talk about your recent work with the Paradice City Tourist Board. How did that come about?

L'Roy: I’ll be honest Chip, rent was due and sales have been slow.

Chip: You sell their Inside Track premium season pass, I believe?

L'Roy: Yes, I see myself as a natural salesman, Chip. With the Inside Track being a great deal, I think this’ll be the thing that changes Paradice around for the people.

Chip: And how many have you sold?

L'Roy: It’s early days, Chip. A magician never reveals his secrets.

Chip: That’s strangely evasive… So, how did you become interested in the sport of jet skiing? I believe you’ve entered the Paradice Masters Race for 4 years in a row, barring that year the water levels were too low in the city’s dam.

L'Roy: It’s a pleasure to be here and finally move on to talking about all things jetski or, as us professionals call them, PWCs or Personal Water Crafts. Yes, I have entered the race multiple times, still looking for my first finish, but I’m confident of a victory this year. I just need to up the power and change gears better.

Chip: Ah yes, I remember last year’s unfortunate incident where you sank due to travelling at too low a speed.

L'Roy: Yes Chip, my mistake. I’m not one who has a need for speed really. But that’ll change this year, I’m positive of that.

Chip: If you say so. Do you have a passion for water sports? How did you get into the world of jetskiing?

L'Roy: No, I’ve never had a passion for it, Chip. I like to swim, but after seeing the film Jaws I have a fear of open bodies of water. The story of how I became owner of the Jetski Palace is an interesting one…

Chip: Is it… You best tell us it.

L'Roy: I had a dream about four years ago that I would make my fortune selling jet skis, so I sold my house and bought a plot of land and built the Jetski Palace.

Chip: Fascinating… and the fact that Paradice has no open body of water within a 400 mile radius didn’t put you off?

L'Roy: Not at all. The jetski is a lifestyle accessory; it opens doors to new opportunities for its owner. I would also be remiss not to mention we’re currently having a sale till the end of the month. Does this newspaper get a lot of interest from outside the city?

Chip: No, none.

L'Roy: That’s unfortunate Chip. I’m sure there are a lot of jetski enthusiasts just waiting to upgrade their current boatercycle. Here at The Jetski Palace we like to…

Chip: Sorry, I’m going to have to cut you off there. Thank you for your time, L’Roy.

The Inside Track is sold in the game, not at the Jetski Palace. Get PowerSuit.